Where's the Self-Worth?

By the time Gregor’s metamorphosis takes place, he has completely forgotten how to live his life for himself. Thoughts about how to take care of his family litter the short story, while any thoughts about what he truly wants are rare and often repressed. Even as a human, Gregor had become insect-like in his need to please his family; as an insect, these same thoughts dominate his actions and eventually take his life.

Oddly, when Gregor awakens one morning to discover that he has become a giant bug, his first thoughts are about how he will continue to support his family rather than how such a strange event came to take place. He seems hardly confused; he is more preoccupied with finding a way to get out of bed so that he can catch the train to work. He feels a strange responsibility for his family. Gregor clearly believes that they are there to support him in return, as is evident when he finally gets out of bed and is trying to unlock the door, “And, imagining that they were all intently following his efforts, he grimly clamped his jaws on the key with all his might” (24). Unfortunately, he has placed too much faith in his family. Rather than supporting him, they all flee at the mere sight of him, then force him brutally back into his room; they have no compassion for the fact that their son has just awoken to find that he is no longer human. Still, Gregor seems unaware of the harsh treatment. When he discovers that his sister has left him a bowl of milk, but that it is no longer to his taste, he wonders, “would she noticed that he’d let the milk sit there…? If she wasn’t going to do it on her own, he’d sooner starve than call her attention to it” (38). For some reason, Gregor has no sympathy for himself, and he doesn’t seem to expect any from his family either.

Gregor’s sense of responsibility for the well being of his family seems a likely culprit for his lack of self-concern. Throughout the story, we learn that Gregor’s father owes a large debt to a company because his own had failed, and yet Gregor is the only one working to pay off said debt. As he is lying in bed, undaunted by his new body, he has a brief moment of his own emotion when he says, “If I didn’t have to curb my tongue because of my parents, I’d have…. Gone up to the director and told him from the bottom of my heart exactly what I thought. That would have knocked him from his desk!” (5). However, only a few moments later, he thoughtlessly puts his lazy family before his own dreams and feelings and thinks, “Well, there’s hope yet; as soon as I’ve saved enough money to pay back what my parents owe him—that should take another five or six years—I’ll go do it for sure” (5). Gregor is so used to putting himself second, we can only imagine that his family sees him the same way. Even as an insect, Gregor takes special care to hide himself under a couch, sometimes with a sheet over him, so that his family will not have to bear the sight of him. They care nothing for his feelings, and eventually, they even begin to forget about him. Perhaps, as time goes by that Gregor remains a bug, they associate it less and less with him because they never really took the time to know him at all. By the end, despite everything Gregor has selflessly done for his family, his sister declares, “You just have to get rid of the idea that this is Gregor…. If it were, he would’ve realized a long time ago that it’s impossible for human beings to live wit ha creature like that, and he would’ve left on his own accord” (85). She doesn’t pause for a moment to think that after such a traumatic transformation, Gregor might desperately need the love and support of his family. Instead, feeling useless and unwanted, Gregor retreats to his room and wills himself to die before morning. (703)