Manipulation

In “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been” by Joyce Carol Oates, the author explores how conceit coupled with naïveté can be dangerous factors of one’s personality. Connie, the main character, meets a terrible fate as a result of the duo characteristics. Her obsession with her looks as well as her naïve and trusting view of men makes her easily manipulatable. In the short story, Oates shows how such susceptibility to manipulation leads Connie to a terrifying downfall.

Connie’s constant fussing over her looks and tendency to always check her reflection gives us an insight into her insecurities. Desperate to fit in, like any girl, Connie takes pride in the fact that she is beautiful. Unfortunately, she is so reliant on her looks to keep her at her current standing in life that her own appearance controls her life. She is oblivious the dangers her lovely image might attract. While out on the town with her friends, Connie shows no fear about getting in the car with a boy she just met. We get the sense that the attention she receives from boys feeds her fragile confidence. As a result, Connie’s life revolves entirely around her outward appearance and the nameless boys that adore her.

When Arnold Friend, a creepy man Connie saw one night with her friends, drives up to Connie’s house, her reaction is strikingly odd. Rather than puzzle over who this strange man is, how he found her house, and why he is there, Connie whispers, “’Christ, Christ,’ wondering how bad she looked” (15). While our mental alarms are blaring, Connie merely “[dawdles] in the doorway,” wondering “if she liked him or if he was just a jerk” (35). She is gauging the situation, all the while maintaining her charm by little flirtatious actions, such as “[smirking] and [letting] her hair fall loose over one shoulder” (23). We get the impression that Connie uses her conceit about her looks to override her insecurities in her everyday life; now, she is accidentally letting her conceit override her ability to judge the situation as well. We don’t encounter any actual suspicion until Arnold reveals that he knows Connie’s name and other facts about her life. She does not express any real fear until she realizes that he is much older than she, and “her heart [begins] to pound a little faster” (79). Suddenly, Connie finds herself overwhelmed in a situation that came about from her own naïve trust of men.

The story takes a turn as Connie finally becomes afraid of the two strangers on her doorstep. After realizing how much older Arnold Friend and his strange friend Ellie are, she finally suggests that they leave. However, she is already falling prey to Arnold’s tactics of terror. She starts to tell him that her father is coming home, but Arnold shuts her down immediately, reciting more and more facts about her life, such as where her family is and what they are all doing at the exact moment. He is using fear to control Connie. He starts talking casually about what it will be like to rape her, claiming that he is her lover, and Connie is overcome by her terror. He keeps her from calling the police by threatening to come inside if she touches the phone, then warns that he will kill her family if they get home before she comes outside. By scaring her, he successfully cuts Connie off from her only two methods of salvation: the police or her family. He has convinced her that neither will save her. The quick decent of panic over Connie—first when she realizes that she is in a situation well over her head, second when she feels like she has no way to escape—overwhelms her psyche until she cannot function, think, or reason clearly. By manipulating Connie’s conceit and then backing her into a corner, Arnold ensures that she will eventually walk automatically out the door an into his arms. (661)